Who Reads the Newspapers

  1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

  2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

  3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country.

  4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie chart format.

  5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave LA to do it.

  6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

  7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

  8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

  9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are Democrats.

  10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

  11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

This was passed along to me by my wife'e late friend, Gary Curtis. God knows where it came from originally.

In response to this page, Gary O'Brien sent this British version of the list, whose provenance he identifies as from a December 1987 episode of the BBC series "Yes, Prime Minister." Link below.

Unfortunately, I understand that the Sun has now discontinued its traditional topless "Page Three" girls. I don't know what the world is coming to.

  1. The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country.

  2. The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country.

  3. The Times is read by people who actually do run the country.

  4. The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country.

  5. The Financial Times is read by people who own the country.

  6. The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country.

  7. The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is run by another country.

  8. The Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits.

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